Thursday, May 14, 2009

A Love Facing A Dead End..

Soul searching is a stage where people of my age, roam, still stuck in a maze even after old age, like twenty-eight. Choosing a different boyfriend or girlfriend at different stages in life, steadily in rage from each gaze their dead end relationships gave. A sour repercussion of unmatched couples which lead to a new, next, guy or girl. Starting over. Each ex having to contemplate on which new, next man or woman to travel the road that was in store for them to now pace. Looking for a prophetic word to explain, or show them a way. People end up switching from partner to partner in a journey for a dream of a common life of everlasting escape out of this maze.

Since I was a child I dreamt of a fairy tale ending with my soul mate. I envision a true definition of love embroidered in my heart due to the passion that my soul mate and I will share. A love that will carry us through hunger, pain, or any type of discomfort that may arise. Unconditional love. Desire for each other when distance overcomes the inevitable reality of having to be apart sometimes. A good love would lead to you fight back to back in a war against whoever, but is unfortunately something I would not do. I rather stand, head to the sky, prayers speeding through my synapse, dead next to him. Ready for whatever, side by side, is what a great love will make you long for. Someone that is worth facing any battle for, no matter who, when, where, how, or what we were facing. Like Nietzsche (niche) said, “What doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger”.

Questions and comments arose as my feels of this divine love were spoken amongst my friends. Some could not believe I still had these desires in my heart of such a so called fairy tale love. It just wasn’t possible they said. This doubt inspired me to figure out its source. How could a doubt of my love, something that has not happened yet, be formulated as if they knew my life? Can you really tell a person what their future could amount to just because you have not personally seen it yourself? I figured that the great percentage of single-parent and divorced homes had ensured a dent in a child’s fairytale dream of happiness. Our community, culture, and most importantly our parents’ set examples of what our futures may look like, or warning of what it should not look like. Our fairytales are destroyed from the constant emphasis of finding love through mind games, or sporadic and eccentric ways of meeting a significant other. These stresses in our society comply with a contradictory and man-made set of guides to failure and the belief that if they are not followed, a divine love will not be found.

I really want to know who comes up with these statements. Is the world really trying to teach us to shut out the guidance of God ever so much that those social guidelines to finding a relationship are what we let determine who we allow or keep in our lives? Nietzsche (niche) argued that he felt God was outdated and that God was no longer needed because of our tendencies to have solutions to our problems. I argue that Nietzsche was a fool and that God can never be outdated. Who do you think gives the willpower and information to each individual for the transcendence of our problems? God. But I do to have to agree with him on the fact that people do not consult God about their problems anymore and find solutions that they see fit. Then seek his help after their situations hit the fan, and then wonder how they got themselves in such a situation. Memo to all: seek the approval of God before you make arrangements.

I dedicate this to all young or older women or men who think that they may have not found their soul mate. Every woman does yearn for her “It” guy, likewise to a man for his “it” girl and I don’t specifically mean physically, but mentally. Pay attention to the little things, like her vision of you being her potential “it” guy that is represented in a decision to date you. She must have noticed something special that she liked in your encounters. In addition, she must see potential in you to give you some sort of time. Choose your decisions wisely. If you stop allowing men or women to use your bodies for sexual pleasures without any sense of commitment, then he or she may give you a type of love that your body does need. Like a scientist, a man or woman could have many lab rats in his laboratory for an experiment. Dissect them specifically for what he or she wants from each rat, and move on to the new, next rat. Don’t be the lab rats and be a walking symbolization of your priceless worth. Don’t lose hope or settle with a person’s view, use the Lord’s guidance, because if you think you know it all, you’ll end up facing a dead end.

Luxuri Wesst
Eclectic Cru

Road to Heaven


These pass days I’ve been a real emotion wreck I’m not sure what to think anymore. Or how to express myself the way I use too. My motivations and Emotions are not mixing or correlating with each other. It’s almost like I’m lost and I’m just moving with the current just to get by. So I thought I should look up these words that seem to getting the best of me.

Emotion: Heightened feeling, agitation caused by strong feelings. Some might call this a: Feeling, Sentiment, Sensation, or a Passion. For whatever that you desire.
Motivation: Giving of reason to act, Enthusiasm, Reason, and Forces determining Behavior. Anything that causes a trigger of self thought to act on something.
WHY…do we let Emotion and Motivations get the best of us sometimes? I can’t explain this, and I tend to think sometimes if we are suppose to look for the answer, or just Chill like Ashleee (Eclectic Cru) would say…WHY: These three letters have been on my mind for a while. Why do we get into the situations that we get into? Why do we get caught up in this social life? Why do we go to Most people will automatically say because we have to, it just is, and my favorite is…. Why Not? …

I figure if we’re motivated in life then why we wouldn’t have to explain ourselves, why would we have to second guess what we do if we’re determine on our goals . Live and Let flow right…Then WHY as humans we are always second guessing ourselves and holding back from our destiny. Motivation….I have A LOT of books that I just read, but never get to finish them (don’t know why) maybe I’m not motivated, but I will someday. But in a paragraph in this book im reading “90 Minutes in Heaven” it said that God has instilled a purpose for everyone of this world…And I truly believe that to the fullest.

Now, I’m not finished, but I just wanted to move on to this word Emotion. The world of men would probably say that woman have a lot of Emotions. I feel like everyone has the same amount if that can be possible, but I’m probably just thinking too hard. Today I felt like sleeping in, and waking up at 12pm which is something that I can’t really do often just cause my body won’t let me sleep for some odd reason….but I had this feeling to draw, and be creative and not care what I mess up in the house just paint until my painting looked complete. But my emotions lately have been lost, and I don’t know what to think anymore. One key aspect of emotions, according to Woodworth & Sehlesberg, is that we have perceptions of them that usually range from: Pleasantness, Unpleasantness, and Weak also Strong (this is the level of activation) does it sound like I’m describing as a roller coaster in a sort of way…lol.

As we know, emotions involve some type of personal evaluations that normally ranges from pleasant-unpleasant. However, we may have experiences that involve both. For example - getting a promotion = more money, but also more responsibility and more time away from others activities. But what if it a bad or ever heart breaking emotion like the one that cause you to get sad or lose your feelings for anything that you love. So, we perceive our emotions as having some level of pleasantness and strength. For example, if your boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with you, you experience some type of emotion, like sadness. Then, you experience this emotion along the pleasantness and strength dimensions - if you loved this person, you may experience sadness that is very unpleasant and intense (strength). I’m a very strong-welled person, but I don’t understand why I’m in a funk still. I really don’t.
I guess the reason why I started to right this is because I needed to get Motivated, and stop letting my bad emotions get the best of me. I guess that’s why…but this was so random I just burnt my Top Ramon noodles in the pot. 